About

My name is Emma (Mama_Hawk15 on most social media) and I am an FTM 💁🏻 Although I’ve had many years of experience caring for and working with children, I was finally put to the real test just this passed year.

My baby boy, Hawk, was born in the Summer of 2015 and oh man has he changed our lives!

My husband (Greg) and I weren’t planning on having any children…. Not so much because we didn’t want any, we just felt that it wasn’t going to happen for us. We always said, “if it happens, it happens but we aren’t trying.” Well, I’m not exactly on the young side so when I did test positive it was a total wtf moment, not going to lie 🙆🏻 At this point we were just fine with it being just the two of us so it took us a minute to “accept it”.

Pregnancy was not fun…. I had people telling me that they missed being pregnant, loved being pregnant, etc. I did not enjoy it at all lol I gained over 50lbs, developed preeclampsia (which became Eclampsia) & I was on bed rest for the last trimester. Between the headaches & the nausea brought on by high  blood pressure, I was ready for Hawk to just come out!

Once he was here, we were changed forever.

The plan was for me to start this blog from the beginning. That obviously didn’t happen 🙅🏻 Fast forward 8 months and here we are. Why did I decide to start now? Well we were sure we were done (with the baby thing) but we got yet another surprise…. On February 6, 2016 I tested positive with baby #2 👶🏻 Shocked and a bit overwhelmed, we were ready to be parents of 2 under 2.

Like with Hawk, my feelings/intuition said BOY from the very beginning and our plan was to name him after Greg’s grandfather (maternal) as Hawk had been named for my father (his maternal grandfather). The plan for Baby Jett was to await until the gender reveal to announce, sadly we wouldn’t make it that far.

Unfortunately I miscarried on March 23, 2016.

We will never meet our baby boy but we know he existed. The healing process (physical) wasn’t too bad but mentally, emotionally, I don’t know how long that will take. Baby Jett pushed me to start this blog, not just his loss but his existence itself.

This blog will be about us.